This World Is Not Done With You (Part 2)

This is part 2 of an earlier post I re-blogged. Wonderful peek inside the world of a teenager struggling with depression.

Today Might be the Day

To view part one of This World Is Not Done With You, click here.

In my last post I began to discuss the things that one does not think about when they are thinking about suicide. The first thing is that you have no idea how amazing your life will be. The second is that you don’t realize how important you are to people. And the third is that you don’t understand the pain a family feels when suicide is brought in. I cut off the post there because suicide is so complex and intricate. It is hard for me to understand what I was going through, let alone anyone else. However, I have learned a lot. Like I said in the last post, I can’t stop anyone from feeling suicidal.I can’t change minds. All I can do is offer insight from my own experiences and hope that I…

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Gaining Strength From Those Who Have Been There

I want to try something different with the newest blog award I received. More than just filling in the blanks of a form, I would like to make my post have a little more meaning to my readers. I hope I don’t enrage the blog award fairies by not following the exact guidelines, but I WILL be nominating other blogs, and I think, in the end, that is the true purpose of the awards – to promote wonderful blogs. 🙂

I have been graced with the pretty little Sunshine award by I’m A Survivor ~ My Journey to Sanity ~ A wife and mom’s journey to surviving Bipolar.

I feel this gives me the perfect opportunity to promote a certain type of blog I love. I have a special place in my heart for blogs by people suffering from some kind of mental illness or grief. They, more than any other, help us understand the people in our own lives who are suffering. They open up, and let us take a peek into their minds, thoughts, emotions, motivations, struggles.

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This World Is Not Done With You

A post written by a courageous teen who attempted suicide, and is now reaching out to save others.

Today Might be the Day

“And you want to get out of here because you don’t have the strength to stay.” -Go Radio

This post has been heavy on my heart for a few months now. I’ve been putting it off and putting it off and putting it off…out of fear of what others will think. But I’ve decided that, yet again, this is weighing too heavily on my heart and mind to simply ignore. Most of the people who will take the time to read this know that I had a nearly successful suicide attempt in June of 2011. It’s been almost two years and the effects have dulled but I know they will never wear off.

Lately, I’ve had more than a few people ask me to talk to someone who they know who is struggling with serious thoughts of suicide. I replied hastily that when I wanted to be dead I did…

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And don’t tell me to stop giving my daughter her meds, either!

Some more words of insight from the mind of Wombat, a person who struggle with Bipolar Disorder. Thank you, Wombat.


Drop Bear Exterminator

I am bipolar. It’s a fact of my life, and I’m trying to come to terms with it. It hasn’t been easy – it initially felt like a life sentence. Slowly I began to realise that it did explain some of the crazy things I’ve done in the past, and unless I get it under control and keep it there, I’m going to repeat some of those crazy things.

I’m doing my best to learn how to manage this. It’s a combination approach – meds, thinking, and lifestyle changes. Each of these elements is important, and I need to stick to them.

For reasons that I cannot fathom, everyone thinks that a healthy lifestyle is great, and encourages me to pursue that. They also accept that talk therapy to help modify my thinking is a great idea. But when it comes to meds? Not so much.

I don’t know why…

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As I read this blog post from Drop Bear Exterminator, I couldn’t help feel I was peeking into the mind of my fiance, Dan, who killed himself several years ago. After he died, many people tried to explain to me what he was probably thinking…why he did it…why anyone does it. But, I still always wondered what was going through his mind. Now, I feel like I have a better understanding. Thank you, Wombat.
If we want to prevent more suicides, it’s important for us to understand the state of mind of a suicidal person. We think what they do is illogical, but they have their own logic. And unfortunately, the logic of a suicidal mind is often very strong.

Drop Bear Exterminator

(Note: This is not my current frame of mind)

I wish I hadn’t woke up this morning. I wish that I would just not wake up. Can I stay asleep longer? I can’t feel the misery when I’m asleep. Sleep has run away though. 

I don’t want to keep going. I just don’t have it in me to be good enough for the world. I want it all to just disappear. I can’t keep coping with what’s being thrown at me. I can’t live up to everyone’s expectations. The world would be better off without a person like me in it.

I’m sure I have a knife sharp enough to slit my throat. But it’s kind of messy, I don’t want to make a big mess. It’s not fair to whoever needs to clean it up. Maybe if I did it in the shower? Then it would be easy. If…

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