Mourning can be described as the process of adaptation or adjustmentto the loss.
It is necessary to point the difference out between those words, which are often used interchangeably.
They are related but not synonymous.
In the last post, I talked about grief as being a ‘necessary evil’ due to the fact that we assign or attach value and make emotional investments in other people (or things, ideas, or abstractions). When we lose someone important in our personal lives, we react at first. We are hurt, saddened, devastated. But we cannot remain in this state of being in perpetuity; we need to find ways…
I’ve added another resource for grief support to my Resources/Support page. It’s a grief support program with a group locator. I typed in my zip code and got a very long list of local churches that are hosting grief support groups. It does seem to be a Christian church centered program, although searching around on their web site, I see no indication that this is a Christ-centric program. It appears to be for all, and the program looks quite exceptional.
The group locator includes the US, Canada, and International. Here is the link: Find A Group
If anyone has, or does participate in the program, please let me know how it is, thanks! Also, if you know of other wonderful grief support, mental health support, or suicide prevention resources, please share them with me!
In many ways, it’s more difficult for me to discuss grief than suicide. You would think it would be harder for me to talk about the suicide of my fiancee, Dan, than to talk about the grief I experienced after his death. But, when I talk about suicide, I talk about HIM. When I talk about grief, I have to open up about ME. Show all the pain I hid away for so long…
Yeah…that can get rough.
Below are the 2 posts I’ve written that are specifically about Grief. Please take a moment to check them out:
After my fiance, Dan, committed suicide, my grief became extreme. None of the people around me understood my grief, including myself. Most of the people I knew had very little experience with the grief of losing a loved one. Of the few who had, none of them had experienced the tragic loss of someone so close, like a spouse or child. A very few had lost parents, but none of them at an early point in their lives.
For my part, I had lost two grandparents that I loved dearly, but the grief I experienced after their death‘s paled in comparison to what I experienced after Dan’s.
Quote frankly, no one knew what to do with me.
It can almost seem comical now, twelve years later. But then the pain of remembering my isolation reminds me that there wasn’t anything funny about it.
Grief. At one point, and usually many points in our lives, we all have to deal with it. Grief is a natural response to the loss of someone or something close to you.
It doesn’t have to be the death of a person. It can be the death of a beloved pet, a job loss, a divorce or separation, your last child leaving the house. Even retirement can, and often does, cause grief – grief over the loss of your “old life”. We can even grieve over the loss of our “old selves” as we get older and youth slips away. Indeed, after a major set-back to our health, eg: losing a limb, the ability to walk, cognitive ability after a stroke, to name just a few, grief is extremely common. There are so many things, both large and small, that we grieve over and it’s important that we fully understand what it means to grieve.
Although it doesn’t feel like it at the time you are grieving, many of the responses you feel are natural and healthy and promote the healing process. It’s important however, to recognize the responses which will hinder your healing, and know when to get additional help to get you through the process.