She lost her battle with cancer, and leaves behind her partner, my friend Bobby. I’m very upset. She struggled for so many years. It doesn’t seem fair, but does it ever? I’m having a hard time expressing my sadness and anger. I know I need to cry and I just can’t. For some reason, I’ve always struggled with expressing that kind of emotion. Crying. It doesn’t come easily for me, and I don’t know why. But after my experience losing Dan, it’s become even harder for me to express grief. I think because my grief for Dan was so traumatic, I’m afraid to go down that road again.
Dear Suzy, I feel the tears welling up and my chin begins to tremble. But then I blink, shift my focus, pet the dog, clean something. Until my mind wanders back to you again. The tears haven’t fallen yet, I’m afraid to let them go. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to say goodbye. You had the best Christmas tree of anyone I’ve ever known. You were gracious and kind to everyone you met. You saved Bobby’s life. You are dearly loved. You will be sorely missed.
** Update 8/2014 – Proceeds have been donated, and I am in the process of making the e-book free, and the paper back as cheap as I’m allowed. See my donation post here: Donation of my Proceeds to The Lifeline **
As most of you probably know, I’m donating all the proceeds of the sale of my book to The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. My original goal was to make a donation once I made $100 of sales. I haven’t gotten there yet, but felt I should let anyone who is interested know of my progress. I may never get to that point, lol. 😉
Just so you know how I’m paid, there are two different formats available, a regular print book and a Kindle book. The paper back sells for $9.89 on Amazon, and for each sale, I get $2.29. The Kindle sells for $2.99, and for each sale I get around $2.04. There are some slight differences based on what country it’s sold in and whether it’s borrowed from the Kindle Lender’s library or purchased.
Here’s an excerpt from my recent blog interview. To read the entire interview, please click on the link above. Nadine is a wonderfully talented writer, with a gorgeous blog. Check it out, you won’t be disappointed. 😉
Author Interview: Carrie Lange
Today I have an amazing guest author: Carrie Lange. Carrie’s novel is a heart-wrenching tale of overcoming grief and guilt–a story I will never forget.
Would you mind telling us why and how you wrote the novel? I imagine it must have been a very difficult emotional experience for you. What message do you have for readers?
The book was originally written for my teenage daughter, who began struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide the past few years. In her struggle to understand her own depression, she kept asking me about Dan’s death. Although very young when he died, she loved him very much and had a difficult time understanding his sudden loss. As she grew older, and began to realize what happened, her questions became more pointed. Letting Go first began as my way of explaining to her an unexplainable act.
One of the main characters, and the one readers seem to love the most, Tar, was not a figment of my imagination. My daughter told me about talking to Dan’s friend. She told me Dan wasn’t up in heaven with God, but with his friend, Tar, who was dead too. That night – after watching Galaxy Quest about five times in a row – I had a dream about Tar, which probably explains why he looked like Alan Rickman to me!
My goal with Letting Go is to both prevent suicide and help survivors understand why people become suicidal. I also want to help all people gain a better understanding of the grieving process….