Tag Archive | Pain

C J TALKS ABOUT: Grief — To Ignore Is To Deny, So What?

From a wonderful new blog I have just discovered, written by someone with great insight into life and especially death. Please check out the blog of a mortuary mouse.

A View From Under The Prep-Room Table: A Mouse's True Stories of Life In A Mortuary

<continued from “Grief: WHAT is it? WHY is it?”>

My last post discussed the concept of grief. Since humans form attachments to other humans, loss then becomes an issue of psychosocial proportions.

Grief can be defined as the emotional reaction to a loss.

Mourning can be described as the process of adaptation or adjustmentto the loss.

It is necessary to point the difference out between those words, which are often used interchangeably.

They are related but not synonymous.

In the last post, I talked about grief as being a ‘necessary evil’ due to the fact that we assign or attach value and make emotional investments in other people (or things, ideas, or abstractions). When we lose someone important in our personal lives, we react at first. We are hurt, saddened, devastated. But we cannot remain in this state of being in perpetuity; we need to find ways…

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They Don’t Want To Die. They Just Want Attention.

No one really wants to commit suicide. They just want attention, right? We have all heard it many times before, and many of us probably (at least secretly) believe it to be true, even if we won’t admit it. I will admit it right now. I HAVE struggled with this notion many times, and I KNOW better. Boy, do I know better. Several years ago, my fiance, Dan, committed suicide three weeks after a failed first attempt.

A few months before he died, we had a conversation about his youngest sister. She had attempted suicide on more than one occasion. Do you know what Dan, himself, said to me about his sister? “She doesn’t really want to die, she just wants everyone to feel sorry for her. She needs to grow up and take responsibility for her problems.” What does this mean? Why would a man, who clearly had these thoughts himself, say such callous statements concerning his sister’s suicide attempts? I’ve had years to figure it out, and still, I’m not certain I have.

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