Tag Archive | why do people commit suicide

Surviving Suicide

For me, the last words I said to him were, “call me as soon as you get home.” The last time I saw him alive was in my rear view mirror as I drove away. He looked sad, and I … almost … turned the car around. But, I was running late for work. “He’ll be fine,” I thought. “I can’t afford to lose any more time…”

Hope after Suicide

 

They call us “survivors” and that’s a good word, right?

It sure beats the other extreme and most who survive some calamity

are no doubt grateful to be one.

We are in a special class of survivors.

We are known as “suicide survivors” but no matter how you slice it,

suicide is an ugly, repulsive word.

We are not in a category that brings relief.

We are in a class of people who survive unbearable,

painful loss ~ one day at a time. One day at a time.

Perhaps you are one of us; we are millions strong.

We are parents, siblings, friends, relatives, co-workers, and school chums.

The list is endless.

Our loved one touched so many lives, just like yours.

Why are we millions strong? Because every fifteen + minutes

in the USA alone, someone reaches the point of no return

and ends his life.

Perhaps…

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Grief Is Not A Disease

After my fiance, Dan, committed suicide, my grief became extreme. None of the people around me understood my grief, including myself. Most of the people I knew had very little experience with the grief of losing a loved one. Of the few who had, none of them had experienced the tragic loss of someone so close, like a spouse or child. A very few had lost parents, but none of them at an early point in their lives.

For my part, I had lost two grandparents that I loved dearly, but the grief I experienced after their death‘s paled in comparison to what I experienced after Dan’s.

Quote frankly, no one knew what to do with me.

It can almost seem comical now, twelve years later. But then the pain of remembering my isolation reminds me that there wasn’t anything funny about it.

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They Don’t Want To Die. They Just Want Attention.

No one really wants to commit suicide. They just want attention, right? We have all heard it many times before, and many of us probably (at least secretly) believe it to be true, even if we won’t admit it. I will admit it right now. I HAVE struggled with this notion many times, and I KNOW better. Boy, do I know better. Several years ago, my fiance, Dan, committed suicide three weeks after a failed first attempt.

A few months before he died, we had a conversation about his youngest sister. She had attempted suicide on more than one occasion. Do you know what Dan, himself, said to me about his sister? “She doesn’t really want to die, she just wants everyone to feel sorry for her. She needs to grow up and take responsibility for her problems.” What does this mean? Why would a man, who clearly had these thoughts himself, say such callous statements concerning his sister’s suicide attempts? I’ve had years to figure it out, and still, I’m not certain I have.

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Suicide. Who’s To Blame, Anyway?

Several years ago, within the two week span after my fiancé, Dan, committed suicide, three different people said these exact words to me: “What did you do to him?”

The first time I heard it was about one hour after learning Dan was dead. At that time, I was too shocked to even respond. I wasn’t quite sure I had even heard the words correctly. However, within minutes I began asking myself the same question. What did I do…or didn’t do?

blame

The second time I was asked that question, I blinked for a few seconds. Then I mustered up as much courage as I could and said, “I didn’t do anything to him.” But secretly I wondered if it was true. Already, I was playing the blame game, and assigning all the best parts to myself.

The third time I heard it, I again responded with silence. I had had enough time to figure out all the things that I “did to him”. I was acutely aware of all the things that I had missed, but should have seen. All the things I should have done, but didn’t do. All the things I should have said, shouldn’t have said, and should have known. How I should have been there when I wasn’t.

The simple ‘missing him’, which was enough to tear my soul apart, was compounded by my inescapable self-blame for his death.

Grief. Guilt. They walk hand in hand with you, one on either side of you, after a suicide.

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Why Do People Commit Suicide?

Why do people commit suicide? We’ve been asking the question for as long as sentient man can remember, perhaps even longer. But what is the answer?

Depression? Fear? Pain? Desperation? Sheer panic?

Are these answers? If so, why is there a question mark at the end of each ‘answer’?

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Every 14 minutes, someone in the U.S. dies by suicide. These statistics are staggering, yet remain hidden and not discussed. But the statistics still don’t answer the question, “Why do people commit suicide?”

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